Post-wedding updates

The wedding is over and everyone is feeling very lethargic. The wedding was good, so was the reception in Goa. My sis and bro-in-law are off to Paris and I think a general Europe tour before they come back on 30th of this month.

I still can’t believe she is married and wont be an annoying, irritating fixture in this house. I can still sense her barging in the room when I am using the computer and ask me to wrap up so that she can use it. I opned her cupboard by mistake and when I realized it was hers I immediately closed it shut thinking she might come in any moment and scream at me for going through her things. So in a sense I guess it will take time.

J had come to the wedding and I introduced him to my sis and her husband, although a proper meeting is still pending. May be when she comes back. She is going to settle in Bangalore for some time. J is in in Mumbai right now and will be there for at least a year, but I’ll have to co-ordinate and set up a meeting.

I am leaving for Bangalore this Sunday and I am absolutely dreading it.  I need to look for a job and resign as early as possible and shift back to Pune so that I can tell my parents about J. I don’t want to do it when I am still in Bangalore.

2 more days to go before I leave Pune. I am spending my days meeting up with friends, watching movies with my sister (I watched Kung fu Panda today. It’s awesome). 2 more lazy days to go and then I’ll be back to my daily routine. Till then I guess I’ll make the most of my time off.

Dissapointed…yet again

This post is a little long and is about me ranting, a lot. I won’t feel bad if you ignore it.

Our promotions and pay revisions for this year were announced. I was told I was going to get promoted this cycle. I even have a written proof (well, kind of) that I will most likely get promoted. I even got a very high recommendation from my onsite coordinator. My performance ratings for both mid-year and year-end cycles were the highest ratings anyone could ever get. Now what is wrong in expecting a promotion when you were told you were going to get it and also because you slog and work so hard?

After the promotions were announced I had people I knew from my previous projects mailing to congratulate me. I had to tell them that I am not promoted. Trust me every single person was shocked.

When my name was not in the promotion list, I wrote a mail to the HR head of India.

Hi,

I joined *** on Jan 22, 2007. I have been through 2 appraisals (mid-yr and year-end). I have got the highest rating both the times.
After the mid-year cycle, I was told that I would not be promoted as I have not completed 1 year in the company.

This time, the reason I have been given is that I do not have enough experience. My total experience is 30 months.

There are people who in spite of not performing that well have been promoted just because of the number of month’s experience.
Is that the only criteria to be considered while promoting? I wanted to know the role of ratings in the promotion cycle.

It is very de-motivating to slog so hard and still not been given a promotion.

It would be very helpful if you please let me know the criteria for the same.

Awaiting your reply.

She got back to me, gave me the contact of the promotion team and I spoke to a few people. The explanation? Well, the promotion quota was very less and strict this time due to recession, so we can do nothing about it.

When I got my salary revision letter, I was compelled to write a mail to the HR head gain.

Hi,

Sorry for bothering you again.
I had raised a concern regarding promotion last time. I was concerned about not getting promoted as it could affect the salary hike.

Now, after the salary hike, these are my primary worries:
1. My salary, after revision is **. It is almost equivalent to what fresher’s get today, in some cases even less. Considering I have an experience of more than 3 years, my salary should definitely be on the higher side.
2. I have been transferred from Pune to Bangalore. I have realized that the standard of living in Bangalore is much higher compared to Pune. So currently its more or less like living from paycheck to paycheck.

I had already spoken to ** regarding this.

As far as my knowledge, the next hike/ promotion will be in December, which is again a very long time. I know the explanation this time too is going to be strict rules and regulations. But I would also like to point out that one of the purpose of appraisals is also to adjust the pay structure based on market conditions. I don’t know of anyone who has a similar salary structure as mine unless they are underperformers.

I sincerely hope something comes out of this.

Please do get back.

As usual, she gets back saying that my salary is in line with the company standards and my work experience and ratings. Since when is the salary I get good for a 3 yr experienced? I seriously feel like shaking her and asking her this question. I can even give her proofs, hundreds of them. But I don’t want to get into any of this again. The only option I have is to resign. Only then will I get a good package which is line to my experience and my talent.

Now the result is I really don’t feel like working at all. Looks like there is no point if people get promoted just because of their experience.
I will update my resume on jobs sites when I am home, after my sister’s wedding. And I’ll start preparing for interviews.

The sad part is I really love this company and the work culture here. So it will be a shame if I have to leave just for the salary, or the lack of it.

The Blogstalgia Meme…

From Pete

Can you remember without looking what your first post was about?
Yes, It was something on the lines of ‘Why a Blog?’ . I don’t remember all of it though. Almost 2 years ago.

Where did you write it?
In my office, when I was too bored and irritated to do any work. And I had just discovered 20six. I wasn’t sure if I would have continued with the blog. But somehow I wrote the first post, then the next and the next…

Which was the first blog you read?
First blog I read was Stephanie’s blog. The first blog I read after I started blogging was either Pete’s, Sammy’s or Katja’s. I can’t recall.

Who did/do you tell about your blog if anyone?
No one. I would not like to be identified. I think I told one of my friends, but then I had to change the blog because a couple of people knew about it and I was not comfortable blogging.

Has your blog ever caused a scandal?
Nope, and I hope it doesn’t in the future too.

Tell us something random which happened as a result of blogging?
Ummm…Not much really. I just came to know that one of my good friends whom I told about the previous blog could not keep it to himself in spite of repeatedly warning him to. See, there was this guy, also a good friend of mine, who really liked me. I told about my blog to this other friend who is a very good friend of this guy. I had written about a guy I was kind of going around with at that time. When I was talking this other guy, he asked me how my relationship was going. And I was sure I had not told him anything about it. So there. I was disappointed but I didn’t say anything to him. Confused? Never mind.

Snog, Marry or Avoid - pick another blogger for each.
I am happily committed. And J does not have a blog. No one in the ‘Avoid’ category either. So…

What’s your most amusing blog memory?
Many. But currently I cannot recall any. ahem. Actually I am having trouble understanding what exactly falls under the amusing category…

P.S: The Ooty trip was fabulous. I’ll write a post later when I upload all the photos.

Catching up with memories.

It’s been so long since I have been on a girls day/ night out. My best friend is in Bangalore. I thought we would be able to meet more since we are in the same city. But can you believe we have met only twice for the past 3 months? Another of my very good friend was in United States for the past 6 months. She just came back to India.

I remember we three used to hang out for hours even after the lectures were over. It was fun being carefree and to chatter aimlessly. To have endless numbers of Ice cream candies and commenting on people around generally gossiping. Practicing for the dance and fashion show competitions and laughing all the way through them. Talking about the latest movies released, the latest trends going around. Our favorite pastime was to guess what kind of girls/ guys each one of us would eventually marry. I miss those days.

Today we are all busy with our lives. We do meet, but they are dinner or movie outings which do not leave us enough time to catch up or for idle gossip. Every girl needs a girl time with her favorite girls in the world.

So we are planning a get together. My Pune friend is coming to Bangalore and we all, i.e. the 3 of us, will leave for a weekend trip to Ooty.

I’ll be taking a sick leave this Friday, if you know what I mean. We will leave on Thursday night and reach Ooty in the morning. We have already booked a hotel which faces the Ooty lake. We will leave on Sunday night and reach Bangalore in the morning. And then back to office, hopefully refreshed.

More than visiting Ooty, I am looking forward to spending some wonderful quality time with my friends.

I can’t be more excited.
———
Hey I forgot to mention that I just bought an awesome Nikon 9 megapixel camera for a very good price. I am just too excited to use it for the first time in Ooty.

  

Lend a hand…Conservation efforts, Virunga National Park

I would really like to mention this one site that I read regularly.

Wildlife Direct.

Wildlife direct is a non-profit conservation organization based in Kenya. It hosts many blogs, all of them related to conservation of endangered wildlife species.
I read gorilla welfare on a regular basis. The dedication and love for what Diddy, Innocent and their team of rangers do is apparent in every post. The blog gives you a good understanding of the conservation efforts carried out in Virunga National Park (VNP).

VHP lies in the Northeastern democratic republic of Congo. Covering 7,800 square kilometers (3,000 sq mi) it was established in 1925 as Africa’s first national park. It was classified as a World Heritage Site in 1979. Today, its more famous for its mountain gorillas. Although the numbers have depleted, there is hope because of the conservation efforts being carried out.

The rebels captured the park some time back in 2007 which has drastically reduced the efforts carried out by the park rangers. Many rangers were killed by the rebels. Today, the rebels use the forest to get money from the tourists which in turn is used for their own war funding. They are also involved in charcoal trade to earn money. The rangers have seized a lot of charcoal which is some good news.

Their site is also used to help people donate money for the conservation efforts. You can donate a certain amount monthly or at ‘one time’. The site also mentions where the money goes. It is used to arrange patrols for the rangers, recently some of it was used to transport the seized charcoal to the refugees. So I guess it is in safe hands.

I would be entirely grateful if the handful of readers who read my blog, check this site out(share it with people you might think will be interested) and also donate if possible. It’s all for a good cause. You will be blessed by the rarest of the mountain Gorilla species.

P.S: The facts and all are taken from various sites including Wikipedia. Do correct me if I have got them wrong. The donate link is on the right hand side of the Gorilla Welfare Blog.

Psycho-analysis of feeds…

I have 81 feeds in my Google reader. Not all of them are ‘daily life’ blogs. I have a ‘CNN-Inside Middle East’ feed, A ‘CNN- Inside Africa’ feed and ‘Top Stories CNN’ feed. I have a ‘National Geographic daily news’ and a ‘Gorilla Protection’ feed too. (Which are both very interesting by the way)
Recently I added a ‘Britannica – advocacy for animals feed’ too. I also have a feed for Discovery channel’s ‘Man VS. Wild’s’ host Bear Gryll’s apart from normal blogs, author interviews and latest books feeds.

I was just wondering if the kind of feeds you have or the kind of blogs you read have anything to do with the kind of person or the type of personality you have?

CNN Top Stories has many new posts every hour. They are not complete feeds, just headings and a brief description. I generally skim through all the articles and only click on those which I am interested in. And recently I have noticed that majority of the articles I tend to expand and want to read have something to do with human/ animal suffering, wars, deaths etc etc.

I’ll give you examples:

• Deadly suicide blast hits S. Afghanistan
• S. Korea’s Lee: No older U.S. beef
• China to raise fuel prices
• Son wonders if dad’s wife poisoned him
• Rape a way of life for Darfur’s women
• Militant attack closes Shell oil facility
• Zimbabwe opposition: Mayor’s wife killed

Okay, you get an idea, right?

I mean, by common sense I can say that if a person has feeds related to books or photography or travel it means that the person is interested in those things. But what can you say about the kind of stuff I like to single out and read? Mind you I don’t feel very depressed or anything by reading all the news above. I am just plain interested. Obviously I think how can people be so cruel and all that, but that’s about it.

What will you call me then? Don’t call me a sadist because I don’t take pleasure in reading such news. What kind of feeds do you have apart from daily-life blogs?

A letter to my sister

There are things I want to say to you but I know I never will. You’ll be married in a mater of few days. Although I say I won’t miss you, but I know I will. I’ll miss fighting with you over the smallest of things, I’ll miss saying I hate you and that I never want to see you again.

I know we never had a good relationship. A relationship where sisters fight and get back again within minutes to gossip about things. I know you are not a bad person how much ever I say I hate you. It’s just that we are so different from each other. I hope you realize that too. There were times when I thought how could you be so insensitive and selfish or humiliate me in front of others, but I am sure there are times when you had the same thoughts too. 

There are times when I realize that some of my morals and principals come from you. Not directly, but after listening to you talk about certain things repeatedly they have kind of etched in my memory and my consciousness. It’s the same way our younger sister has inherited some of our principals. She will deny it now, but one day she will realize it’s true.
So in a way you’ll always be a part of me wherever I go.

As you get ready to leave the house and the family and start your own, I would just like to say I’ll miss you and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
I wish I had the courage to say this or post this to you, but I know I won’t. I just hope that in your heart you know I’ll be always there for you.

Home…sweet home…

People, I am going home in July. I think I have mentioned that before, haven’t I? For 15 whole days.

I was supposed to go on 5th July, but my flight got delayed by 5 hours. So I am rescheduling it to a day before.

Did I tell you I am going for my sisters wedding? I am so excited already. And I feel so bad I am not able to join the preparations, the shopping, and the excitement.
I am also sad because I could not shop for myself for the wedding. I had bought one sari, but the rest of the stuff my mom and my sisters have got for me. I just hope that everything fits, else there will be another session of tucks and trims and the frantic wait for the clothes to arrive on time.

J will be coming for the wedding if he is in India at that time. I wanted to introduce him to my elder sister before that. I might if I get the opportunity and time. Even though my sister and I don’t get along very well, her opinion is important to me. I hope she likes him.
I am just so happy for her. Looks like she has found someone she had been looking for all the time.

Did I tell you the reception is in Goa? It is going to be fun. I know there is still lots of time but I can’t wait.

Chasing the monsoon

I miss the monsoon. Not the rains, but the season itself, when dry, hot weather is replaced by hints of the first monsoon rains. When the sky is filled with black clouds and everyone is eagerly awaiting the first showers.

Here in Bangalore, the seasons seem all mixed up. When I arrived here in March, it was supposed to be summer; it was supposed to be hot. But it was raining. And having just come from Pune where it was very hot, I kind of felt relieved. Whenever I called Pune to talk to friends, all they ever complained of was the heat and how eagerly they were waiting for the rains. A few days back I called mom and she said she did not pick up immediately as she could not hear the phone because it was raining very heavily. The first monsoon rains had arrived.

I looked out of the window and said to myself, ‘Yeah, it has been raining here since 2 days’. Actually no, it has been raining in Bangalore since I got here and before that. It doesn’t feel like monsoon. It feels like just another day.

I miss the excitement, the rush, when you feel the first drops of rain. I miss the anticipation that comes with seeing the first black clouds crowd the horizon.

When we were kids we used to run outside our apartments, on the road, and jump and squeal with other children, just jumping up and down and enjoying the first rains.

All this and more came rushing to me as I read Alexander Frater’s Chasing the Monsoon.
I was a little apprehensive to read it because I have never read a travelogue before. But this is much more than just travel. It is also a part memoir. He is so good with words, he can actually paint a picture before your eyes.

In the book, he follows the monsoon from Trivandrum (the southernmost point in India, well almost) up to the north. I knew monsoon is important to India, important to agriculture and all, but this book gives you a different perspective altogether. He describes people, places affected by monsoon or the delay of it, the wait, the agony of it’s late arrival. We just crib because it’s incredibly hot and the rains will lessen the temperature. But for many people in India, it is much more than that. It is livelihood. I am sure I’ll never feel the same about this season again. Read it if you have never experienced the monsoon before or you want to see it in a different light altogether.

——————
P.S. Thank You Hemanshu for introducing me to the book. I am looking forward to reading ‘Tales from the Torrid Zone’ by him. Let me know if you have already read it.

A chance to live with dignity

He adores children. He always mentions he would love to have a girl. The other day I said I would like to adopt. He looked at me amazed for a second and then said that he always wanted to do the same thing himself.

As college students we used to go to various orphanages to distribute things and to spend time with the children. The experience humbles you. You realize you are so fortunate to have a family or loved ones by your side.

There was this particular year, when we went to an organization called SHREEVATSA managed by SOFOSH. We all were overwhelmed by what we saw. Children as young as 1 day abandoned by their families. We were taken to different rooms where children were placed depending on their age groups. We went to this one room with about 10-12 children in it. 

We played with the kids for some time. When it was time to leave and return the kids to their respective bunk beds, most of them started crying, not wanting us to put them down. There was this tiny girl with translucent skin and curly hair staring at us with big black eyes. She looked so delicate and tiny that we were scared she would break into pieces if anyone touched her. She was sitting all by herself for those 15 or so minutes we were inside. For the last 5 mins I could not take it anymore. I went to her and slowly took her in my arms. I was afraid I would break some part of her body if I was even a little rough. I was so scared of hurting her. She didn’t laugh or squeal like other children. She just kept looking at me, all bewildered. After 5 mins it was time for us to go. I reluctantly put her down. As I approached the door I turned back to look at her one last time. And she gave me the sweetest smile I have ever seen.

To this day, even after so many years, I have never been able to forget that girl. I had promised to myself then that I am going to adopt at least one child, preferably a girl.

Seeing the secondary treatment still given to girls In India, I feel ashamed. People who worship goddesses and hold their mothers in such high regard fail to realize that these little girls, too one day, will become mothers or wives. They will also make them proud if given a chance. I want to give some girl that chance. A chance to be happy. A chance to live with dignity.

I hope after some years I would be able to realize this one dream of mine. And I am so happy that J is in it with me.