I remember feeling very exited and nervous on my first day at work, my first day of leaving the protected world of college and entering into something verydifferent. We were put into batches of 25 each, all college passouts just like me, all eager to get started. We had fun during the first 3 months of so-called freshers training. No work, only play..
Thats when i met him, we became good friends. I really got along very well with him, we had great compatibility as friends. I knew he considered me to be more than a friend, not that he ever told me. I overlooked that fact because i never felt the same about him. We used to chat frequently from an internal messenger even though we used to sit in adjacent cubicles.
One day, just out of the blue he proposed to me during the chat, i mean come on, who does it this way, The worst thing was he expected me to say yes, eventually, even though i did not encourage him in any way. He wrote,”If you are worried about your parents, dont worry, we’ll convince them”. I was like, HELLO, where do my parents come in here? Dont you want to know whetehr i want to say yes or not?
Anyway, i wrote back with the standard line,”I am sorry but you have always been just a friend, nothing more than that. I just wish we would continue to be friends”. He said, “okay”, just okay. He didn’t talk to me for 3-4 days, we were really uncomfortable with each other, i tried to behave normaly, but he made it difficult for me, avoiding and running away from me. Finally things were normal and we were friends again, i guess he came to terms with the fact that presently there is going to be nothing more than friendship between us.
Over the next 1 year, he proposed to me almost 5-6 times, sometimes thorugh chat, sometimes on the phone. I could do nothing but laugh and avoid the topic. He literally fought with me a few times over the same issue. I couldn’t help it. I always wondered why I cannot feel more than friendship for him. He said he’ll never marry, he’ll never feel the same for any girl.
I know thats not the truth. People do fall in love again, and they do love with the same intensity, the same passion, it’s just about finding the right person. I believe in this. First love is difficult to forget, because we feel this way for the first time, every feeling is new.
Now he has found a girl he seems to be interested in though he pretends not to be. I admit, I do feel a little jealous, but come on, that’s natural isnt it?
I just hope everything works out for them and he loves some one with the same passion and intensity again…